"What we tell them about how we make the bed together" is the title of my next poetry bestseller (you haven't read my books?). Insomnia gave way to flash-clarity of relationships, specifically mine and M's, and while it is mostly indescribable magic that brings people (us) together, it is also the mind/body enlightenment voyager vessel that will propel us happily into eternity (hmm, I guess also mostly indescribable). In the poem I talk about acknowledging the widower's gaze, the way hands nest together, and how to listen when not being spoken to.
Happy to help document M's mytho-fantasty-roleplay-ritual in the wet cold of The Loch. More about the work here.